Oh, Margaret. I wish I could help you somehow. You sound so down about your weight!
I noticed you mentioned having trouble recognizing when you're full. Just last Monday I did a presentation on exactly that subject. Here are the main points.
The "I'm satisfied" signal is not the same as the "I'm full" signal. The first is a chemical signal from your gut to your brain that signals that you've eaten enough to meet your needs. The second is a physical signal that your stomach is filled to capacity. If your stomach is full then you've already eaten too much.
The "I'm satisfied" signal is very subtle - a quiet voice in a storm. It takes a bit of practice to hear it. The best way I can describe it is this. Imagine eating your absolute favourite food. When you start eating it you are in heaven. It's divine, luscious, delicious. This lasts about 4 or 5 mouthfuls. Then its really yummy. A few more mouthfuls and it's just OK but you're going to finish it anyway because, after all, this IS your favourite food and you're not quite full yet.
The VERY FIRST mouthful thats not really yummy is your "I'm satisfied" signal. STOP NOW!
I hope I've explained this adequately.
Regards, Donna